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"KANNAN
VARUVAN" - New Tamil Movie Review By "Your Prabhu"
C. SUNDAR Presents "KANNAN
VARUVAN". "KUTTY MGR" Karthik, "Cochin
Kuyil & Mallu Kutty" Divya Unni,
"ALL INDIA 40-45-48 Figures President"
Manthra, "WHITE ANGEL" Manorama,
Goundamani, Senthil, Ranjit, Radharavi, Kazhan Khan stars in a Triangle
Love and Sentiment Subject. Music by Sirpi. Enjoy my new
Tamil Movie review "Kannan Varuvan".
STORY:
"Kannan Varuvan" is a traditional
Tamil village movie. Any tamil village story with fall under two
category. The first one is A hero 
will be there who is God for that village
and he will always wear a White Coat, Yellow Pant with Tiger
Teeth Gold chain, Gold Bracelet, White Slippers and later he will
become "Panayar" and talk all Bull
shit possible in the world. Example : All Sarath Kumar Movies,
"Kattu Karadi" Vijaya Kumar movies. The Second
Category is Village story based on Temple festivals like
constructing Temples and doing "Thiruviza" and
a Villain will be there who creates Problem in that
"Thiruviza" and Hero fights with the villain and he
will win. This movie comes under the second Category.
KARTHIK who is an Orphan works on a Huge Project for ANDERSON
Consulting Company in "POONKUYIL" Village,
Kadayampatti Post, Omalur Taluka. "White Angel"
Manoramma whose only aim in life is to Construct a Temple in her
village and conduct "Thiruviza". For
those who does not know what is meant by "Thiruviza"
its a function that is conducted by some Village Leaders just to
show how big they are and how great they are to cover the Village
Girls. There will be a big gathering of Good Figures like Aishwarya
Rai, Susmitha Sen, Shilpa Shetty, Lisa Ray, Madhu Sabre
in those functions and our "Billy Joel, Arnold
Sivajinagar, Jackie Chan, Abbas" will wear their
Vesti and Jibba and come there to cover those girls. It will be
really funny to attend those "Thiruviza" and "Mari
Attal Kuzu" and "Mangatha Gavu" Festivals. For
those who does not understand what is meant by the word
"GAVU" Its a term referred by village people. Actually
it is Cutting a GOAT or HEN and donating the BLOOD to MARI ATTAL
Goddess. HA HA HA HA!!!
Divya Unni a Super Mallu Kutty gets introduced as a Poor girl and
who came to work for constructing the temple. A "SITHAL
MESTRI" Love develops between Karthik and Divya and two
duets gets over. Meanwhile Manoramma who is waiting for her
Grandson to come from America falls sick.
"RANJIT" who comes from USA talks all crap
with Karthik and Gounder "Mani " like 
Setting a guy for
old Manoramma so that they can enjoy their final days etc etc and
Gounder Kicks "Ranjit" into a river and KARTHIK enters
Manoramma Place as Substitute "Grandson" to save the
life of eagerly waiting "WHITE ANGEL" Manoramma.
Manoramma and Karthik exchange lots and lots of Sentimental
dialogs like Karthik saying "Patttttiiiiii" in MGR tone
and in turn Manoramma with her white saree, white hair replying
"Perraaaaaaa" with liters of Water coming from her
eyes. Magane I don't know how long Manoramma is going to Cry like
this and eat us. In the mean time Manthra falls in love with
Karthik and she starts her duet with Red Pavadai, She sings,
Dances etc etc.
Then the "Climax comedy". They fix a
date for Temple "Thiruviza" and from somewhere Ranjit
comes and slaps Karthik and says to Manoramma that he is the
original Agmark Peran. Then Radha Ravi Who is the villain gets
into the scene and fights with Karthik. In turn Karthik fights
with the Villain's and kicks Radha Ravi's Big round ugly Butt. At
last one Kzhan Khan kills Divya unni with a big Knife by cutting
her throat. Manthra instead of taking her to hospital covers here
Neck with a white Ribbon and sits beside her and cries. Manoramma
runs shouting "Daaaayeeeee". I
switched off my TV and I don't want to say anymore.
KARTHIK:
I don't know who asked these old Karthik to act. These days he is
not good at anything. He looks like a "Saidapet Donkey"
and his Face is like a Cricket Playground. Rumors say that he is
married again with some Mallu Girl. I really lost respect on him
hearing about his "Woman chase" stories in Kodambakkam.
I cant even follow one single world that is coming out of his
mouth. In 26 alphabets all that he can talk is A, F, B
and E. Other than that everything is "bbaa bbaaa
baaa" !
DIVYA UNNI:
This new "Mallu Kutty" is really beautiful although she
looks like a "Daughter of Kerala Bakery Owner".
Excellent face and good structure and she can exactly fit into
our jollus Requirements. She has a real good smile. Good mallu
Dressing makes us to feel that she is really beautiful. Acting
wise she is OK and we really don't care if a good figure is not
acting. Rumors say that Karthik is in Love with Divya Unni, I
think its the right time for KARTHIK to get slapped from some
MALLU GUYS !!!
MANTHRA:
MANTHRA is a "MAADU". She exactly
looks like a "MADAVARAM MAADU". She is
out of shape. I guess she would be around 45-55-45. I dont know
why these guys fall for figures who are big, round, Shape less
and Size Less. Magane Jollu vidungada !! I think we have to
maintain our Jollu only to good Figures !! With this Size and
Shape she comes in "Pavadai and Davani" without Dupatta
and irritates us.
RANJIT:
The Ultimate comedy was RANJIT. He says to Manoramma that he is
going to start a Casino in America. I don't know what these guys
are thinking and who will give permission for RANJIT to
build a CASINO in AMERICA. Does he thinks that he is
owner of ATLANTIC CITY or does his "Chittappa"
works for MGM casino in LAS VEGAS. He is a real
comedian !
LOLLU COMMENTS:
The right name for the movie is "KORANGU VARUM"
or " GANDA MIRUGAM KADIKUM" or " ERUMAI MADU
MUTTUM". I don't know what C. SUNDAR thinks in his
mind. Such a stupid and idiotic movie. It seems that there was a
Three way love going on between KARTHIK, DIVYA and MANTHRA
(MADDU). The only satisfaction was "GOUNDER MANI".
Although he is not able to give the same old comedy to us, He is
able to make us laugh. In this movie there are two Gounder
Mani's. One is a really freque out guy who walks with a Guitar
and the other one is a sad guy who Sacrificed his life for the
second one ! The third Gounder Mani comes in dreams and he
disappears. The scene in which Gounder and Senthil meets are
really funny.
Divya Unni a real sweet introduction and hopefully we will see
her a lot. Other than that Please don't take these kind of "TEMPLE
THIRUVIZA" movies. I don't know what fun they get
in conducting "THIRUVIZA" that too selling their
Property as if "Conducting Thiruviza" is like
conducting "Sydney Olympic Games". I
grade this movie to be a flop movie and its not worth even to
watch in a video. A Kadi movie gets only 40/100 from Lollu
Express.
WITH LOVE,
Prabhu,
AUTHOR LOLLU EXPRESS,
www.lolluexpress.com
COLUMBUS, OHIO USA.
EMAIL : kanman@hotmail.com