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"RAJAKALIAMMAN"
New Tamil Movie Review By "Your" Prabhu
"KAVITHALAYA" Presents "RAJAKALIAMMAN", A
devotional thriller with Digital 15 Track Recording. "Super
Heroine" RAMYA KRISHNAN, "SOUTH INDIA MARABALLI"
KAUSALYA, KARAN, VADIVELU, SARANRAJ, "NIZALGAL" RAVI,
Y. VIJAYA stars in a new "BAKTHI Based,
Snake Thriller" RAJAKALIAMMAN.Directed by "Snake
King/ King Cobra" RAMA NARAYANAN. Enjoy my Bakthi
Review on New Tamil Movie "RAJAKALIAMMAN".
STORY:
Right from start of the movie and till the end of the movie each
and ever scene is Real "GALIJ". The movie starts with
"Ramya Krishnan" who is a "AMMAN" leaves one
Village and settles in the next village as she hates the Village
head who steals the 
Temple wealth. One "AMMAN" dance gets over
as Ramya Krishnan dances with "VELL"( For those
who does not know what is a "VELL" it's a sort of
Instrument made of "IRON" which has a head like THREE
FIGURES" which is used by GODESS to kill VILLAN GODESS in
heaven ). Normally VELL is made of Gold or iron rod.
Ramya Dances with Lots and lots of Ornaments in a flash Dress
made of Glass with lots and lots of RED and BLUE Light Flashing
on her and she dancing showing her tongue with Two "KARI
SATTIS" which has Burning Coal in it, in her hand and the Extras
dancing with her making sound like "OOOUUU"
"OOOOOOUUUUUU" "OOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU "
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU". If You
still have any questions of how to make that "OOOOOUUUUUUU"
sound which comes in "BAKTHI MOVIES" take ur
right hand and slap ur mouth with ur Fingers and breath hard.
When the song gets over the OOOOUUUUUU sound gets more and more.
You need at least 1000 Watts speaker to get the correct
effect of that "AMMAN OOOOOUUUUU Sound" !! Magane .....
Ok lets comes to the story. "RAMYA KRISHNAN" goes to
the next village where she meets two small kids (VADIVELU and
KOUSALYA) who feeds her with "KUZU". For those who does
not know what is meant by "KUZU" its a kind of
Soup made out of KAMBU and BOILED RICE boiled for hours and
fermented for TWO days served with Spicy Pickle or
"KARUVADU" (Dry form of FISH mixed with SALT and Dried
in HOT SUN) , Normally People in Village eat
"KUZU" to chill out after their hard work in the paddy
fields. RAMYA who is impressed with the small little kids and
their love decides to stay in that village and help the poor
kids. The kids grow up into (VADIVELU and KOUSALYA).
There is one more Major Galij in the movie. There is one more
SNAKE called "NAGA THAMBI" who is friend of
VADIVELU and KOUSALYA and who stays with them and he is more like
a family member who drinks ONE GALON of Wal Mart 2% Fat milk and
20 Eggs!
KARAN gets introduced as a womanizer and who chases girls and
kill them with help of his sister Y. VIJAYA. His family
Astrologer "NIZALGAL" Ravi says that he is going to die
because of a female and who lives in the next village (Kousalya).
Karan 
decides
to kill her. So he decided to act as a good Guy and marry her and
then kill her. So he comes to her village and Kousalya falls in
Love and one dream song. I don't know who sung that song ! The
MUSIC director has used only One PIANO to compose that duet. All
sorts of Stupid music comes and the song gets over and KARAN and
KOUSALYA gets married.
Lots and lots of Senti dialogs like "VADIVELU" filling
Air in a Balloon and says to his Sister (KOUSALYA) that "Its
not Just a Balloon But its ur Brothers UIYR" and
Kousalya Saves the balloon without bursting it because the air
inside the balloon is hers brothers !!! Magane ! what to say ! we
have to watch ! no other go ! KARAN ill-treats Vadivelu and slaps
Kousalya after marriage. One fine day KARAN kills VADIVELU.
"RAJA KALI AMMAN" RAMYA KRISHANAN watches all these
things and decides to teach a lesson to KARAN. So she enters
KARAN's house as his "ATTAI PONNU" who is in AMERICA
for 20 years. KARAN who is waiting for her arrival to get married
to her so that he will get all her wealth. Now starts the revenge
and lots and lots of funny things happen like "MILK flowing
from a Container on her head" and 1000' s of Lemon
flying here and there and kills Y. VIJAYA and two three Bakthi
Songs like Everyone dressing in YELLOW saree and dancing with
Neam Leaves and singing about Different "ATTALS" in the
world.
Major comedy is CLIMAX. RAMYA KRISHNAN decides to kill KARAN
because she cant take anymore of KARANS Rupture. KARAN decides to
tie THALI to AMMAN Goddess. AMMAN gets really pissed off with his
behavior. But there is one Problem. KOUSALYA who is a typical
Tamil Ponnu gets a "VARAM" that RAMYA cant kill KARAN
unless otherwise there is No "BOTTU" in her Face. RAMYA
is waiting to kill KARAN when there is no "BOTTU" in
Kousalya's fore head. One fine day there was heavy rain and the
BOTTU in Kousalya's fore head gets dissolved in that rain. RAMYA
thinks that this is the time and flies with her VELL. Meantime
that SNAKE (FAMILY friend of KOUSALYA and VADIVELU) slaps his
head 20 times on a Rock and blood comes out of SNAKES mouth and
it comes before RAMYA and KEEPS BOOTU on KOUSALYA's FORE HEAD. 
Magane
Dai ..... Dai ..... Antha RAMA NARAYANAN En Kayle Kedachana
...... That is SNAKE KEEPING BOTTU for a GIRL!!!!! HHAAAA HAAAA
HAAAA!!!!
RAMYA KRISHANAN:
The only satisfaction we get out of this movie is RAMYA KRISHANAN
who comes as "AMMAN" with her grand Saree and Ornaments
and with her Piercing Looks and her dance ! I think if some one
is interested in seeing a AMMAN dance it will be a real feast for
them. After her wonderful performance in "PADAYAPPA"
she is really struggling to find her way in Tamil which is
hurting. Being such a glamour doll in Telugu I dont know why she
wants to act in "AMMAN" Characters in Tamil. Hopefully
our directors will find a good roll for her and give a break to
her in tamil.
"KARAN" looks like a Person who cuts MUTTON in
MANGADU. ("MANGADU LE CURRY VETRAVAN MADIRI IRUKAN). He
is out of shape and in this movie he comes with a Irritating
Mush. Nothing special. VADIVELU looks like a "CURRENT
LE ADI PATTA KAKA". A crow that is hurt in Current.
Nothing special. He sings two songs with his wonderful voice.
LOLLU COMMENTS:
Watching these kinds of movies needs Lots and lots of Special
Skills. You must understand and follow the movie closely. There
will be lots and lots of tricks. Also you need to get involved in
the movie or else there is no fun. Like you need to go with Neam
Leaves and VELL and when the actors dance for the songs
"YOU MUST DANCE WITH THEM" doing the same
action like Slapping the persons sitting in the front row with
NEAM leaves and Pouring "TURMERIC WATER" on the people
sitting in the front row. You might also want to kick the person
sitting in the front with VELL and you can always say that
"ATTAL" came on me and I don't know what happened after
that ! If possible go the theater with a SNAKE and let the snake
in the theatre when the peak scene comes !
I don[t know what is meant by "15 TRACK DIGITAL
SOUND RECORDING" in these kind of movies. They said
that it has lots and lots of Graphics and the sound is recorded
in Sony theatres ! All I could here was a "CASIO
PIANO" sound as background music and what is CASIO
piano going to do with 15 TRACK DIGITAL SOUND SYSTEM. I
don't know what that "HHHHHHHUUUUUUUUU" sound is going
to do with DIGITAL SOUND SYSTEM. I think watching these
kinds of movies once in a while is real fun ! But you must watch
it will "NEAM LEAVES", "TURMERIC
WATER", Two three cans of "MILK" and a "SMALL
SNAKE" then you will really enjoy it or else its a
movie for the front bench people who comes to theatre to watch 11:30
show and its worth only 30/100.
WITH LOVE,
Prabhu,
AUTHOR LOLLU EXPRESS,
www.lolluexpress.com
COLUMBUS, OHIO USA.
EMAIL : kanman@hotmail.com